they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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