none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
