I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize