actually, I'm a sock model
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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