Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Life is so much better after having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
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