have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
My bed smells like the plague
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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