your room smells of hookers.
And success
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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