The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
