I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
