I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
