i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
