So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Someone came in the potted fern
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
