You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
