I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I want to fling myself into the sun
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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