He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
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