I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
