the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
