i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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