I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize