Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
