Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
