i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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