My sheets look like a crime scene.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
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