One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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