garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
