as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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