Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
