I can't watch pbs sober anymore
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
