brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
