i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
