yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
