Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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