Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
