I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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