I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
