I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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