i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
