This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
