what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
