New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.