Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.

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  (203): my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus. http://tfl.nu/bisy
  Replies (9) Good night (600) Bad night (3951) Order T-Shirt
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like

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  (571): On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like http://tfl.nu/th56
  Replies (10) Good night (841) Bad night (4493) Order T-Shirt
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.

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  (434): Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying. http://tfl.nu/4yli
  Replies (3) Good night (2052) Bad night (718) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster

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  (419): You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster http://tfl.nu/810i
  Replies (9) Good night (2575) Bad night (963) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.

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  (610): The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous. http://tfl.nu/sorz
  Replies (3) Good night (3382) Bad night (1087) Order T-Shirt
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...

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  (971): We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable... http://tfl.nu/8m1y
  Replies (12) Good night (2967) Bad night (1052) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.

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  (603): You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time. http://tfl.nu/k6f1
  Replies (22) Good night (4357) Bad night (797) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively

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  (845): you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively http://tfl.nu/v9v6
  Replies (1) Good night (1767) Bad night (782) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.

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  (801): I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her. http://tfl.nu/f7hh
  Replies (19) Good night (1321) Bad night (3518) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.

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  (949): this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning. http://tfl.nu/8me0
  Replies (4) Good night (1689) Bad night (649) Order T-Shirt
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Beautiful, beautiful reality

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  (563): I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality? (208): Beautiful, beautiful reality http://tfl.nu/pfhr
  Replies (3) Good night (1928) Bad night (419)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night

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  (703): Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night http://tfl.nu/l617
  Replies (3) Good night (457) Bad night (1640) Order T-Shirt
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?

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  (414): It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself? http://tfl.nu/nwby
  Replies (6) Good night (476) Bad night (1343) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?

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  (801): How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service? http://tfl.nu/0xho
  Replies (3) Good night (1050) Bad night (486) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."

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  (412): I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from." http://tfl.nu/4vvg
  Replies (6) Good night (1579) Bad night (355)

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