i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
