i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?