....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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