after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
