I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize