he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You dont lie about slip and slides
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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