walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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