I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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