I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
