I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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