Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Randomize
