drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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