Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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