You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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