Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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