I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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