He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
