I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I think I just shit out all my problems.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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