He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
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the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
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Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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