He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
