I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
