see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
