I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm really busy with my period
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