This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
