I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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