I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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