No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
