tell your sister to shave her snatch
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
