Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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