Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
