i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
